Doubts . . .

So, after I sent out the last set of posts, one of my dearest friends commented that I would have doubts along the way but that God would be working behind the scenes in ways I would only see in due time. So far, I have had two very specific doubts, and I have seen God specifically speak to me--in unexpected conversations--to allay my fears. First, I was a bit skeptical of international adoption. When you look at reviews and blogs online, you see tons of comments about corruption in foreign countries and the need to ensure ethical adoptions. I feel very comfortable with the agency we have chosen in regards to ethical decisions, but I still struggled with the concept of taking a child from his home country in Africa and uprooting him here to America. Is that best for the country? Is that best for the child? Then, I ran into a fellow mom in Kate's kindergarten class who is from Zambia (she actually moved here just a few years ago). She has seen both the best and worst of Africa, and she assured me that, for those children in the orphanages, adoption is their only hope. That without someone willing to take them in and love them as their own, most of them will grow up on the streets. And that gave me peace. I thought about the boy and the starfish on the sand, who when questioned why he wastes his time because he will never save every starfish and therefore his efforts don't matter, he responds, "It mattered to that one." (not to mention the Parable of the Lost Coin which speaks to the importance of each soul) How sweet for the Lord to place someone who grew up in Africa to speak to me in direct answers to my fears! And how exciting that we get to save ONE of God's children. The other fear I have had is the fear that this would change our family. My kids are really cool kids, and the most amazing thing is that they get along ridiculously well. We have this "perfect" nuclear family with a mom, dad, boy, girl and guinea pig. Things are never complicated, no one is ever left out. It just works. And, they both really want a brother and a sister, yet we are not sure if we will get both. So, I found myself awake worrying about them. Will there be enough money and time for them to chase their passions? Will they lose this incredible friendship they have formed? Will one feel like a "third-wheel" all the time? But, then I went to Bible study last week and the Lord brought a young mom to our group who was leaving for the mission field in a few weeks. Her daughter is one of the sweetest kids I know,and she is going to be living in a different country, most likely going to a school where she will speak a different language. And yet, God has something bigger for this family. When I think of the instructions the Bible gives to parents about raising children, there aren't a ton of verses. Every one I can find boils down to one simple instruction: teach your children the way of the Lord. Telling others about Jesus in a foreign land is clearly the way of the Lord. James says that caring for the orphan is religion acceptable to the Lord. I am pretty comfortable then that, if we are in His will, He will take care of our own children in masterful ways only He can foresee. Aw . . .the Lord at work behind the scenes. Thanks, Holly, for preparing my heart to see His hand!