Out of Our Hands . . .And Into His

The last few weeks have been strangely quiet.  We got the privilege of taking a family trip to Colorado, where we did not check email or answer our phone for at least seven days.  That was a wonderful gift:  to reconnect as a family and find some calm, and honestly, disconnect from the situation here.  

There is very little to do, and for me, that creates some anxiety.  But, amidst the lack of control and certainty, I have been led time and again to the Lord.  Over the past few weeks, the Lord and a few sweet friends (and one very wise woman) have taught me that I will never have peace over this unless I turn it all to the Lord, unless I lay all my desires and assumptions down for His will to be done, unless I believe that He is only good and will do only good in this and in all things.  And, I have gained an increasing calm to pray for God to take this out of our hands--where our imperfect hearts and "wisdom" cannot sour His plan for JP's life.

When I checked email again last weekend, I saw those exact words from our facilitator: "It is out of our hands."  And, while that may seem unsettling at first, it actually brought peace.  I can know that we have been JP's advocate to the extent that we are able.  I can know that our idea of what life should look like will not take the place of God's plans for JP's life.  I can know that we acted above reproach in our respect for the process, for the Congolese, and for JP's family. 

And I can rest in the plans of the Creator, the Savior, the Author and Perfector of all things. 

Next week, there will be a hearing in the DRC to determine JP's future.  We have very little, if any, opportunity for input, as we are not Congolese and have no jurisdiction or rights under their laws.  We are okay with that:  this is an issue that should be handled there.

Right now, it appears that several scenarios could unfold.  First, JP's mom could say that she wants JP to stay with her.  If she is able and willing, we welcome that decision.  If JP's mom, however, states that she does not want JP to stay with her, he will most likely be sent to an orphanage.  Without some input on our part, it is likely that he will be sent to an orphanage where we can have no contact and we lose the ability to help him.    Therefore, if it is decided he should go to an orphanage, we hope to be able to suggest a place that we know is safe, where we can support him, and have time to make wise decisions for his future.

I send this for the sole purpose of asking prayer. Please do not get me wrong.  We are human. We are still grieving the loss of what we'd hope would be. We desperately do not want him to go to an orphanage where we cannot help ensure his care.  But, over the last few weeks, I have been continuously convicted that the anxiety I feel because I cannot "save" JP from his circumstances is sinful.  I cannot save him in any way, even if he were to live here: only Christ can, and I believe, He will.  Therefore, it is my hope that we only pray those things that are clearly biblical:

• First, I pray that the fatherless and widow are advocated for in the hearing.  That there is not a hint of injustice, and that both JP and his mom's best interests are honored.

• Second, I pray that JP's future home would be a place where He is raised in the fear and wonder of the Lord.  I pray that JP would know Him deeply, that he would see God amidst these trials in His life, and that he would spend his days in the embrace of the only Father who can really be his refuge. 

God is not surprised by any of this, and our worry, while understandable, is evidence of our shortsightedness.  Our worry negates the incredible, awe-inspiring immensity of our Creator and His power to overcome the world's shortcomings. And, honestly, our worry makes us more important than we really are.

I ran across Psalm 90 today.  It gave me such peace, and I have included it here below.  If you choose to read it, please go to the end--as there are some tough verses in the middle that only make sense in light of the entire chapter.  God's blessings to you all. We are so grateful for you.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust and say, "Return, O Children of man!"
For a thousand years in your sight
are but as yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.

You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning;
In the morning it flourishes and is renewed.
In the evening it fades and withers.

For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath, we are dismayed.
You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.

For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.
Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?

So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands.