So, there is nothing more to be done.
And, yet, one thing remains.
From the moment I met Jean-Paul, I have had a deep desire for him to come to know the Lord. This desire has not lessened over the year, even if our present circumstances mean he likely will not hear it from our family. In February, the Lord sent a sweet reminder of who controls man's salvation, even in difficult circumstances. Our church is affiliated with an orphanage and church ministry in Kenya. The Kenyan pastor spoke to our home group, and as I heard his testimony, I had to fight back the tears. Much like Jean-Paul, he was forced to live without a father, and his mother had to make money however she could. Eventually, an uncle agreed to support him so that he could attend school. Years later, a missionary family he met while in Kenya sponsored him so that he could attend college in the United States. Now, he leads his own ministry in Kenya, where he focuses on helping prostitutes and street boys see hope in the beauty of the Gospel. At dinner, I thanked him for his testimony, telling him how much it spoke to my anxious heart. He smiled, "I have seen God raise up those street kids to be amazing men of God. It's like God uses that heartache in a beautiful way to bring those children to Him."
What a gift of the Lord. To his life. To my soul. To what I hope will be Jean-Paul's future.
But, the Lord came to seek and save a people of every tongue, tribe and nation for himself, and over the past few months, I have been deeply moved to pray for another person's salvation: that of Jean-Paul's birth mother. I have seen how in-laws, governmental entities and community members disguised as mentors have all used her as a pawn for their own purposes. I know that men use her, and that they use her daughters. I have wept for her salvation; I have regretted that I did not share more in my visit with her; I have pleaded with the Father to send someone to share the true Gospel with her. Not a religion of rules and shame, but one of grace and peace and forgiveness.
When I sing these words, I think of that tall, broken woman and pray for God to heal and to save and to redeem--
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The Hope of nations
Jesus, He can move the mountains
Our God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
I know that His arm of compassion can reach into the depths of her despair. So, I pray that He saves her, that he sets her feet on a rock, that He gives her freedom in Christ, where there is no condemnation. I pray that he replaces her guilt and shame with His perfect sacrifice, where she can see purpose for the days ahead, where she can lead other women to understand God's grace, and where I can hug her as a sister in Christ, in this life or in the next, without the shame of her struggle or the tension of the last year's mess. Where we are both just daughters of the King.
And, so when all is done, all that remains is salvation, the finding of the lost coin.
And, when I think about it, it is all that really mattered in the first place.
"Indeed, we count all things as loss,
For the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus our Lord."
Philippians 3:8
